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Preparing for Deployment
As soon as you know that your soldier is going to
deploy, you should start to prepare yourself and your family.
Many areas of your life will be affected by the soldier's absence and
the deployment will be a lot easier to bear if you and your family are
well prepared. Here are some key things to consider: Relationships,
Children,Finances,Wills,Insurance,During
the Deployment
RELATIONSHIPS - Whether this is the first time your
soldier will be away or not, it is never easy, especially with the
deployments reaching 1 year to 18 months in duration for some. Try
to make time to be sure your relationship is strong prior to the soldier
leaving. You will know what works best for both of you, but here are
some tips to think about:
You may be unhappy that your soldier is
deploying, or that he/she is working longer hours in preparation for
the deployment but don’t take it out on them! They are only doing
their duty.
Your soldier’s
brain may ‘arrive’ in theatre before their body does. They will be
thinking about their job and what they have to do over there, which
may leave you feeling that they aren’t thinking about you. This
won’t be true, so try to understand if their mind seems to be
elsewhere.
Consider taking some "alone" time for a quiet
meal, a walk or just to grab a beer or cup of coffee together.
This might help you both to focus on
whatever issues need discussing, without distractions.
Avoid having them leave with any unresolved problems, and try to make
up if you’ve had an argument. This may be difficult, but if there
are any unsettled issues after they depart, one or both of you will
probably end up feeling guilty or resentful. Let’s face it – neither
of you need any emotional baggage during their time away!
PREPARE THE CHILDREN
- Be as honest as you can with them.
Explain things in simple terms in an unemotional way if you can – if
they sense that you’re fearful, worried or upset, they may feel the same
way. Even young children talk to each other, and older children
may pick up on stories in the media. Be aware of what they are
seeing and hearing, and be ready to explain what is happening should
they have questions or concerns. Plan to keep the children’s
routine as normal as possible. Children will feel more
comfortable if you stick with your normal routine. This is especially
true of younger children. You may also consider starting up some
new activities or clubs for the children while their soldier is away.
This may even provide a break for you.
FINANCES-Whether
or not you already are the one who handles the financial matters in your
family, it is still a good idea to talk with your spouse about how
things will be handled during their time away.
EXPENSES -
Discuss your current budget. Make a list of all the monthly
expenses you have and be sure that you have not only the account
numbers, balances and payment amounts, but also be sure that you
have access to these accounts. You may even consider making
bill payments by direct debit from your bank account. If any
bills are in your soldier's name only and a problem comes up you may
find it difficult to take care of it if your name is not on the
account. You may need a POA (Power of Attorney) You also
need to consider that new expenses may arise due to the soldier's
absence. Will your childcare expenses increase? Will you
want to hire a lawn service, maid service, pest control or handyman
for those unexpected issues around the house? Be sure to add a
cushion into the budget for things like that.
SAVINGS -
Many families find that they are able to save some money as there is
little opportunity for the soldier to spend money while deployed.
Set a realistic amount for them to spend while they are away and
include this in the monthly budget. The soldier also receives
some extra pays and you may want to consider investing a portion of
this money. One option is the TSP (Thrift Savings Plan)
This is a good way to save up for something special for when the
deployment is over. It may be a vacation or a purchase you can
look forward to. You may also find there are areas where you
can cut expenses to save money. You may want to cancel
the soldier's cell phone service, remove them from the auto
insurance policy, cancel cable channels that you don't care for,
etc.
WILLS & INSURANCE-
Be
sure to update wills and consider the insurance needs of BOTH you and
your spouse. You may find that your family's needs have changed
since the last time you reviewed or revised these items. For more
information on life insurance,
Click Here.
During The Deployment STAY BUSY
- Try to keep yourself active. Consider joining the gym,
taking a class or getting involved in some kind of group or new hobby.
You may choose to become active in the FRG (Family Readiness Group), or
volunteer at your child's school or even take on a new job. Any of these
things would give you a chance to get out there and meet new people and
take your mind off the stress of the deployment. It may also help
to stay in
close contact with family and friends.
Don't forget to
pick up an official HH6 Deployment Log!
This is a great way to keep track of all the stuff that
goes on during a deployment.
Write down all the things you want to talk to your spouse about when
they call, and then place the book near the phone/computer so you don't
forget what you wanted to tell them. You can also use it when you
talk to them to write down anything important that your soldier tells
you when you chat.
It may also be used as a simple diary of your time apart.
